Why Men Put Walls Up
Many men equate their lives, how they feel, and “who they are” with their jobs, career, money, success, and even the car they drive. If one of these goes out of whack, the guy shuts down. He doesn’t like himself or his life.
In most cases, the guy then puts up an emotional wall, but it’s not for the reason most women think. Many women will approach their man with what they believe to be support and unconditional love when they sense distance. However, instead of getting the loving response, they’re expecting, they find themselves walking into “a wall,” which usually ends in an ugly argument. Why? The woman feels hurt, rejected, and ignored, which leads her to believe the guy’s not interested in her anymore. And if he’s not interested, then there must be another woman, which is not necessarily the case.
As kids, guys grow up believing they’re supposed to be the knight in shining armor, the conquering hero. If a guy feels like he’s falling off his horse (i.e., career, work, and money issues), the emotional wall goes up because he doesn’t want the woman walking in and seeing him as a loser: period, end of story.
Also, if the guy doesn’t like or love himself, he’s not capable of liking or loving anyone else at that moment. When someone attempts to come forward, he’s thinking: “If I don’t like me, no one else can like me. I have to be right. Go away!”
Call it his “man cave” or whatever you like, but only the guy can get himself out of it.
So, the moral of the story: If a guy is putting up a wall, ask him what’s going on and believe what he tells you, then give him his space. He will see you as loving and understanding. He’ll end up being around you more.
