He Said He’d Call Later
If I had a dollar for each time a woman called saying: “He said he’d call later…” I’d have beachfront property in Malibu, while driving a Bentley previously owned by Ryan Seacrest. So, what’s this all about?
It would be so easy to dismiss this by saying men and women simply don’t think alike, but I don’t think that’s the kind of explanation you’re be looking for. So here goes:
Yes, men and woman think differently and, while woman think men come from Pluto and men believe women are dancing on the rings of Saturn, this leads to all sorts of trouble – especially when it comes to communication, understanding, and control.
When a man says: “I’ll call you later,” what he’s basically saying is that it is his intention to return the phone call at a future moment in time, sometime before he dies. Men focus on one thing at a time – what is in front of them at the moment. He doesn’t know how long it will take to deal with what’s in front of him so, he doesn’t give give a specific timeline, just that it is his intention to return the call, which is, when he returns the call.
When a woman hears a man say, “I’ll call you later,” she looks at her watch and assumes he’ll be calling in 20 minutes. If two hours pass with no return call, the woman starts thinking, “he’s using me,” “I can’t take this,” “he’s just like all the others,” “if he’s not talking to me, there must be someone else,” etc. If more than a day goes by, the woman believes the guy’s probably had a secret family all along.
So, is it any wonder when the guy does call that the woman greets him with her feelings of rage, disappointment, anger, frustration, and resentment? That is, if she even answers the phone. She may see that he’s calling but wait for him to call five or six times before answering the phone to “teach him a lesson.”
Now, since men don’t like confrontation, is it any wonder they pull back? But here’s the thing: the guy is pulling back because he senses the woman is angry – not because he doesn’t want to deal with her, but he doesn’t want to get hurt. When men fight they stop and go to their respective corners to calm down and think about things, while letting the “dust settle.” Men then return when they feel enough time has passed.
On the other hand, when women fight they want to talk and work it out right then and there, which is kind of hard to do when the guy needs to step back and think things over.
Even though this may be the “normal behavior” of the guy the woman is dating, which often times he will admit to, the woman wants to change his “normal behavior” to suit her needs. She will justify all her reasoning to “scold” the guy.
The deal in a relationship is not – I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change! However, if someone is getting upset and angry because a call has not been returned, there is a deeper underlying problem of fear.
All anger is based in fear – either we are going to get or not get what we want.
